Indian weddings have a global reputation for being long, fantastic celebrations with hundreds of people, piles of good food, dancing and good times. So when Moni shared her wedding photos with us we were a little surprised at her lack of excitement. She described each photo in a matter-of-fact way, naming all the relatives, explaining all the ceremonies and traditions, but never sharing her emotions or feelings other than to say how exhausting the whole thing was.
With my own wedding only two months away I was intrigued. In my world, weddings are all about the bride (OK, the groom too.) My bridesmaids spoil me, my Mum and my sister help me, and my relatives support me. In Moni’s world, weddings are all about two families. Are the parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles compatible? Do their social classes and religions sit well together? For Mike and I, our chemistry comes first, and thank goodness our families get along. For Moni and Aman, their family’s chemistry comes first, and thank goodness they get along.
It all makes sense; most Indian households are a collection of in-laws, kids, cousins, and grandparents. Names like ‘Moni’ disappear and are replaced with ‘Papi’ meaning sister-in-law… in India it seems that family trumps individual identity.
Opportunity: Give Each Person Identity Beyond the Group
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